FRIENDLY FIRE?

Okay, so this blog’s been neglected a bit the past week. It’s been a very crazy month of October. Crazy in both good and bad ways.

First off, the election here in Canada. I hate the fact I’m becoming especially good now at predicting outcomes of so many situations, not the least of which was my comment to a friend in Calgary yesterday that “it will be a near-majority for the Conservatives tomorrow.”

Damn, I was right.

For a few moments last night, as Peter Mansbridge told us all, there was an outside chance of a majority. I actually felt nervous for approximately 36 seconds. Then came certifiable, actual results from Quebec. Shocker – the Liberals have made in-roads again there! Maybe the sponsorship scandal’s foul aftertaste in la belle provence has finally begun to dissolve.

I think being good at making predictions is based entirely on two things: one, hoping for the best but expecting the worst, and two – the belief that human beings will most often do every possible mediocre, bad or downright evil action before finally choosing the good one. That’s just the way people are, methinks.

In any event, those two guidelines paid off last night. In any event, I’d say congratulations to the Conservatives, but I’m not sure if this Pyrrhic victory election win is something I’m particularly thrilled over anyway.

$300 million. $300 freakin’ million.

LOOK, IT’S GEORGE W. BUSH WITH BOOBS!

Much credit goes to Chez, a.k.a. Deus Ex Malcontent, in describing Sarah Palin (and the following images). Given that the Republican Party’s mostly catering to people like this…

It sort of makes sense they’d bring on someone with an alarming resemblance to Britney, yes? Judge for yourself, circa 1984:

And, of course, given this is America we’re talking about, no public figure with Universal MILF-like (or is it V-PILF now?) ambitions would be complete without a scary, air-brushed, re-touched with near-mythic Photoshopping, even if the magazine is fake:

As you’ve probably guessed, I’m not the biggest fan of Sarah Palin.

As the Republican Party continues to slit its own throat deeper and deeper as the Gong Show that is the G.O.P.’s national convention unfolds, you really do have to wonder what the McCain camp was thinking when they picked Palin. Did they actually vet this candidate? Seriously, did anyone?

Of course, if you’re dumb enough to be suckered into the pretty face and tough talk Palin espouses, you really should take a closer look at her policy platforms: stridently pro-life, a hunter, a husband with shady political leanings – the list goes on and on. She’s essentially Bush in a skirt – she’s so immensely in over her head that it will take much larger players like McCain to keep this party going if the Republicans get in. Does any of this sound at all familiar? *cough* Cheney…

So let’s see: Obama gets raked over the coals by the dunderheads at Fox News over his middle name, but Palin gets a free pass over her jaw-dropping lack of experience at the federal level and zero foreign policy experience? Please, how stupid do the Republicans think Americans are?

Never mind that a key component of the Republican Party’s catering to the pointy-head types that rule “the base” (read: The Religious Right) – abstaince-only programs work! Didn’t James Dobson tell y’all that recently? – of the party now look very hypocritical and patently foolish. Bristol Palin probably never would have imagined the future of America would hinge on whether she got knocked up at age 17 by a hockey-playing redneck named Levi. God, the iron(y)ing is delicious.

First Hurricane Gustav, gently reminding America and Republicans alike of the mind-blowing incompetence the Bush Administration demonstrated in New Orleans less than three years ago. Now Palin’s daughter – a sharp, nasty stab into the hypocritical heart of the Republican Party’s cynical catering to religious wingnuts.

Thank you Republicans – you might as well hand the election over to the Democrats right now.

Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it?