FINDING THE WAY

2007 has not been a good year for me.

I won’t go into big details about it on a public blog, but needless to say I’m really looking forward to the end of this year. This has been a bad year.

It’s been harder than 2003 ever was, which is really saying something, unfortunately. Some aspects of this year have been my fault. Some aspects have been other peoples’ faults. Quite a bit of it has been extremely bad luck and, perhaps, bad karma at work. There’s no single reason why it has been hard. Too much stress, too much hard times, too much emotional upheaval.

That’s the long and short of it. It’s been full of some really hard times, far too much transition than one person should take. Perhaps it is merely life coming up and telling me the old ways of doing things are no longer working for me. I don’t know.

One example of how things are changing – Queen’s. Tomorrow’s Homecoming and my second one in a row I’ve been invited to and I’m not attending. I am ArtSci ’01 permanent vice-president and didn’t even attend Homecoming last year (I had commitments) and this year, I just don’t feel like going. It’s not because I’m better than anyone who is going, just that it would be very hard for me to be in full form and put on a happy face for people I see. I just don’t want to spread around any negativity.

I’m reminded, more often than not these days, that I’ve been through a lot in my life – a lot more than the average person knows. I’ll never tell anyone on here about it either unless you’re a friend first and you’ve got loads of patience. But that’s really what I’m asking of a lot of my friends and family here – patience. I’m asking people to understand that this won’t last forever. I have to remind myself of this fact a lot myself.

In truth, dealing with what life throws at you is a very big challenge when it feels like a tremendous amount of your life is going wrong.  Right now, that’s the case. But I’m a very strong person – I’ve seen and dealt with enough to know that pain really is temporary, but pride is forever.

I will keep going. I will carry on. I appreciate you all so much for your concern, support and friendships.

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